CHEEEEEESE

Reason 21.

EAT ME!!!!

For some reason, you don't have Port Wine cheese spread in Champaign. You need to have it. Badly. In addition to this, Wisconsin cheese soup in incredibly common here. In fact, Shenanigan's (That should probably be another reason to visit. We have a bar called "Shenanigan's") has it daily. And it's amazing. And you're missing out.

I have a confession.

Reason 20 (I would've used this as a continuation of the earlier Christmas light one... but I had already started writing this and was too lazy to see what number it was).

You know how I said how people are insane with their Christmas lights? Well. It has rubbed off on me. If I could decorate the outside of my building, I would. Last night, I got all of my Christmas stuff out. I got some additional items today at Hobby Lobby. 

(Side Note: The guy who checked me out was probably early 20's, very punk looking. Chin length black, straggly hair, you know the type. He was checking on one of the items I was getting to see if the plush Christmas items were on sale. I told him that it was actually a pillow. He looked at it, and said, "That is SO cute for a pillow!" Yeah. People don't usually catch me off guard. That one did.)

Not quite Sioux Falls, but I couldn't find a picture of the tree they put up in DTSF. Deal with it.

I got incredibly happy when I saw this article: Christmas Tree Put Up in Downtown Sioux Falls. That's just up the street from my place!!!! Clearly, my home is like it's own little hole of holiday glory. 

We could have a PICNIC!!

Reason 19.

Okay. It's November. So, maybe not. BUT. We have some ridiculous parks if you want to pack a parka. The one above is the Japanese Garden in Terrace Park. 

We have Sertoma Park, where I think they purchased every playground item available, and there's a Butterfly House there, plus the Outdoor Campus (above), which has live fishes and dead animals on display. There's also a trail and a lake where they have different workshops for the kidos. 

The Outdoor Campus is the only time I've seen one of these guys not cooked.

20 miles of loveliness.

Reason 18. 

Sioux Falls is one of the top bike-friendly cities in the country. So, bring your bicycle, because you also can no longer get a DUI riding a bike (or horse...) here.

I'm pretty sure this is a reason to visit....

Reason 17. 

This is NOT in Sioux Falls. 

Old buildings are neat.

Reason 16.

The Washington Pavilion. It had been Washington High School, and years after it moved to a new location they decided to turn the old school into a building of awesomeness. There's a science center, visual arts center, cinedome and a hall for performances. It's just up the street from my place, which means it's even more awesome, and there's a dinosaur.

RAWR!!!! Come visit me! RAWR!!!

A better hockey related reason...

Reason 15.

Midco Sports Network = All Sioux home games. 

I think that's all I need to say.

Soooooooo many sculptures....

Reason 14. 


I know I've already mentioned the statues. Allow me to elaborate. With pictures. 

     

                            

I have more... But I'm pretty sure you have a good feel for it by now (I realize Daisy the Cow isn't really a statue, but I'm using that in place of the ENORMOUS Land O Lakes cow that I can't find a picture of). Some are permanent. For some reason, the more odd ones seem to be the permanent ones. Mr. Bendo. Our very own fake Statue of David. The Land O Lakes cow. 4 giant origami swans in boxes. Some are part of the Sculpture Walk, and are changed every year. I'm thinking our need for 1 statue per every 2 people has something to do with Mount Rushmore. I guess we're trying to balance out the gigantic carvings with some art on this side of the state?

One of the wonders of Sioux Falls...

Reason 13. 

If you're coming on a Wednesday night, we're going to Bracco. There's no way around it. It's "Ladies' Night." Apparently, Ladies' Night in Sioux Falls translates to "Creepy Old Men Night." It's fascinating. Are there females? Yes. But. There are an equal number of old dudes who think they're the next Hugh Hefner (for the record, my spell check recognizes "Hefner"). The old creepers and ladies make up about half of the population. The rest? Random dudes. 

This guy will be there. Guarantee it.

Why do they come? For the sweet drink specials? Ohhhhh, wait. No (they have started a late night happy hour, but this is more recent. The dudes were coming faaaaaar before this. Can't use that as a reason, should anyone try). To pick up some chick who is wasted off of a cheap drink in a pineapple? Okay. Here's the deal. If you try try to give these dudes a hard time for coming to BRACCO to pick up chicks (to put it in Fargo terms, we'll compare this to Doolittles. Oddest place ever to creep on chicks, right?), they'll tell you that they have a girlfriend/wife/whatever. Sooooo.. Huh. The entire thing is astonishing. 

Besides the crazy show you'll get to witness, they have the best coconut shrimp I've ever had. BUT. I would feel bad if I didn't warn you. There's a 91% chance you'll have HORRIBLE service. If you order anything that isn't fried, there's a 25% chance you'll send it back because the cooks messed it up THAT BAD. Things went down hill pretty quickly about 2 years ago, and they haven't recovered. Luckily for them, girls still like cheap drinks, and dudes still like to be creepy. 

The Falls. And.. OH MY GOD WE LOVE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS SOOOOOO MUCH.

Reason 12.

I figured I should get around to the town's namesake at some point.

I'm sure you remember me mentioning the town's crazy obsession with Christmas decorations, yes (Hum. Maybe this has some correlation to the crazy obsession with statues...)? Well, this will be in full effect at The Falls at that time. Welcome to... Winter Wonderland. Sioux Falls style (it's really called Winter Wonderland. There's a sign (of Christmas lights, obviously) and everything).

I couldn't find a picture that completely captures the insanity, but this does a pretty fair job. They've been working on bringing the downtown area back to life, and part of that included the Phillips to the Falls project. Phillips (my street) was extended so it heads straight to the falls... and there are all kinds of pretty lights lining the street, then you make it to the light insanity at the Falls. You can wander all around the area, as long as we haven't had any massive flooding that causes the rocks area to be roped off because of a possibility of "Hazardous Material" (I'm pretty sure that's their scientific definition of "Poop").

Getting The Falls area all dolled up was quite the task, I'm sure. The neighboring property includes a tiny biker bar, the State Penitentiary, and John Morrell's. The Phillips to The Falls project eliminated the odd entrance to the park which previously took you past run down buildings on a street I guarantee no less than 16 cars lost tires driving over, and helped fade the constant reminder of where you're actually standing.

           

Inmates and bacon. Perfect.

Video Killed the Radio Star....

Reason 11.

And then reality TV killed the video star, and the radio star came back. I've already introduced you to KCFS, our lovely little college station. The folks at the station seem awfully nice, and I'm willing to bet that they'd play the "Scruff! McGruff! Chicago, Illinois! Six-Oh-Six-Five-Twoooooooooo!" PSA if requested. A little odd to request a PSA instead of a song? Perhaps. But DEFINITELY worth it. You NEED this in your life.

 The Google search for KCFS pictures was a little disturbing. I found a duck with a crocodile head (or alligator? I can never keep them straight), a turkey wearing a vest with no head, a picture of Homersapien, and that KCFS also stands for "Kansas Citizens for Science."

I even asked for permission to use this one, it's THAT important.

Reason 10. 

Obviously, she found a bedazzled Stanford shirt. You know you want to meet a person who can find a bedazzled everything. 

I can't keep telling Sterling hello for you. Seriously. You need to do it in person. However, there's a 50/50 chance she'll actually be here when you are. I just don't want to give you false hope. But, a 50% chance she'll be here is still good enough to make the list. 

If you don't come, I'll have her attack you with this evil turtle. I'm not joking.

Best Children's Hospital EVER.

Reason 9.


If you're a sick child... You get to go HERE:

I know that you're a couple years too old to be admitted to this building... but, imagine if you weren't! I guess it may be a bad thing to make the Children's Hospital look awesome... Kids don't necessarily know that being sick is not a good thing, and may want to get sick just to stay here. But, either way, it's a pretty awesome for a hospital, no? Oh, and it's not just a fancy building to make up for bad doctors. 

I Hope You Like Magazines

Reason 8. 

Once upon a time, in the land of Sioux Falls, someone decided we needed a local magazine. Shortly after, 46 other people decided the same. This has resulted in the craziest collection of local magazines you could ever dream of. You can find these in the entryways of SEVERAL businesses across town. It's insane. Here's a partial list...


Are you a hip, young adult?: 605 Magazine


Are you a woman?: Sioux Falls Woman Magazine


If that wasn't enough womanly information: etc., For Her


Are you looking to go downtown?: Exactly Downtown


Fashion? (It's supposed to be national, but it's based in SF, and the ads are for SF things. You have to pay for this one, so it only half counts): LX Magazines


I've never looked at this one, but I'm assuming it's for parents, or for the 7 people who live in our ghetto: 'hood


Remodeling?: Home Ideas


Pets?: fetch! 

Why is is having countless magazines available a good thing?  

In a very short amount of time, you could build a house from them. For free. I'm no home builder, but I'm pretty sure you'd have the best insulated house on the block.

I'm not even sure what to say about this one.

Reason 7. 

Mr. Bendo. 

I'm sure similar topics will come up again dealing with the town's weird fascination with statues. This one takes the cake. I'm not sure if this is more of a reason to visit... or to stay away. The strange obsession is something you just can't understand until you see it. 

FOR EXAMPLE....

          A drunk hits Mr. Bendo (not the first time).

The city rallies to fix Mr. Bendo. Bars have fundraisers. So weird. 

When they fix him... They give him a shiny new coat... 

And... 

A cast. 

It's at least an intriguing reason to visit, right? If nothing else, it will help you better understand the forces I was up against growing up here. How I turned out as normal as I did is still beyond me. 


PS... He has apparently correctly healed, and they removed the cast. 

Fried. Meat.

Reason 6.




    
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You can find some form of chislic at almost any place that serves food. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if a bar doesn't serve chislic, they aren't even considered a bar. It's like not serving beer. You can't get away with not doing it. 

In my opinion, venison chislic wins over beef or lamb, no contest. It should be fried. Not grilled. There are places that serve grilled beef chislic. Wanna know what that is? Beef tips. NOT chislic. Not that there's anything wrong with beef tips... but don't claim to be something greater than you are. It's like Chicken Little claiming to be a vulture. Not the same thing.

Also. Ranch? No. If you want a condiment, a variety of BBQ or steak sauces, please.